Transform Your Life in Your 50s with This One Essential Strategy
If you’re anything like me, you probably find yourself turning to Google and AI for answers, asking questions like ‘how do I ensure financial success in retirement?’ or ‘how do I stay healthy in my later years?’ Have you ever wondered how to achieve anything you want in your 50s?
Or do you ever look at those who seem to effortlessly achieve their goals and wonder if they too rely on these same sources for guidance?
Navigating life in my 50s has been like maneuvering through a maze of challenges. From shifting family dynamics and adjusting to an empty nest, to caring for aging parents and reevaluating career goals, it’s been a whirlwind.
Amidst all this, I’ve constantly sought answers, drawing wisdom from external sources and my own inner reflections.
Through life’s lessons and my yoga practice, I’ve learned that achieving our desires requires discipline and perseverance—there are no magical shortcuts, unfortunately.
Over the years, I’ve become adept at setting goals and starting the journey towards them. However, sticking to them has often been my challenge. I used to think my struggles stemmed from a lack of willpower.
Through counseling and coaching, the advice was always the same: figure out what you truly want and commit to it.
It wasn’t until I delved into yoga philosophy that I had an epiphany. I realized my difficulty in sticking to things wasn’t just a personality trait—it could be cultivated.
The concept of Tapas in Patanjali’s yoga philosophy taught me that discipline is something we can develop, not just something we’re born with.
Bookmark this post for future reference
Why Do You Struggle to Reach Your Goals
Niyamas are the second limb of the eightfold path of yoga as outlined by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras. They represent a set of personal observances or practices that guide us toward ethical and spiritual development.
Niyamas are tools meant to be practiced in day-to-day life to nurture happiness and self-confidence.
Tapas, as one of the Niyamas in yoga philosophy, encompasses the practice of self-discipline, perseverance, and inner strength. It involves the willingness to embrace discomfort and challenges as opportunities for personal growth and transformation.
Tapas, from the Sanskrit word for “heat,” represents the inner fire fueled by strong commitment. It’s the drive that fuels change, whether it’s improving health, forming good habits, staying focused, or forging a new path in life. Tapas brings energy, passion, and determination.
I realized that the exciting part, for me, is the daydreaming and setting the goal. But when it comes to implementation, I often hit obstacles or get bored.
If you’ve struggled with achieving your goals of financial freedom, a health-related or relationship goal in the past, it may be because of the lack of tapas.
Here are some reasons why the tapas “fire” dwindles:
- Lack of Immediate Gratification: We’re wired to seek immediate rewards or gratification. When tasks become tedious or difficult, and the payoff seems distant, our motivation wanes.
- Comfort Zone Bias: Humans are naturally drawn to comfort and familiarity. Stepping out of our comfort zone requires effort and discomfort, leading us to avoid challenging situations.
- Loss of Interest: If tasks become repetitive or fail to engage our interest, we may lose enthusiasm and motivation to continue.
- Overwhelm: Feeling overwhelmed by the scale or complexity of a task can lead to procrastination or avoidance, as it’s easier to disengage than confront the challenge.
- Negative Emotions: Anxiety, frustration, or boredom can sap our energy and motivation, making it difficult to persevere through tough times.
- Lack of Clear Goals: Without clear goals or a sense of purpose, it’s easy to lose sight of why we started in the first place, leading to demotivation and disengagement.
RELATED; Yoga Tools to Ease Money Anxiety
What is Tapas?
We often think “I’ll be happier when…” Fill in the blank. When I make more money, when I lose more weight, when I finally get the promotion.
In fact, research in positive psychology suggests that the mere achievement of goals does not guarantee lasting happiness.
While reaching goals can provide temporary satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment, this feeling often diminishes over time, leading individuals to set new goals in search of further fulfillment.
Tal Ben-Shahar, a prominent lecturer and author in the field of positive psychology, often emphasizes the relationship between happiness and goals. He suggests that while setting and pursuing goals is essential for personal growth and fulfillment, it’s equally important to adopt a balanced approach.
Tal Ben-Shahar emphasizes the importance of enjoying the journey toward achieving goals as a fundamental aspect of happiness and fulfillment. He often highlights the idea that happiness is not solely derived from reaching the destination or attaining specific outcomes but is also deeply rooted in the process of striving and growth.
“Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak.”
~Tal Ben-Shaha
While reaching goals can feel good initially, that feeling tends to fade over time. People often overestimate how happy achieving a goal will make them. This is because humans have a tendency to adapt to new circumstances quickly, including achieving goals.
To put it simply, experts advise concentrating on the journey toward goals rather than fixating solely on the end result.
They propose discovering joy in meaningful activities and relationships, relishing the process of striving for goals, and giving importance to experiences that enhance overall well-being and life satisfaction.
The Only Strategy You Need: Cultivating the Inner Fire
This brings us back to the description of cultivating tapas. When considering the relationship between achieving goals and happiness, tapas plays a crucial role.
Tapas, often translated as “discipline” or “austerity,” is the dedication and perseverance required to pursue and achieve goals. However, tapas goes beyond goal attainment; it is the commitment to the journey itself.
Tapas embraces the process of striving toward our objectives with dedication and resilience. It emphasizes the importance of showing up consistently, even when faced with challenges or setbacks, and remaining devoted to pursuing our higher purpose.
True fulfillment comes from the journey of growth and self-discovery inherent in pursuing goals. Tapas reminds us to find joy and meaning in the effort, dedication, and personal development accompanying our pursuit of goals, rather than solely focusing on the result.
Feeling stuck? Feeling a lack of motivation?
If you’re ready to cultivate tapas to change this, read on!
Cultivating the Inner Fire Part #1: Be Still
Consider a dormant seed lying in the soil, seemingly inactive and unproductive. Despite its appearance of stillness, unseen processes are at work beneath the surface.
As the seed absorbs moisture and nutrients from the soil, and with the warmth of sunlight, it begins to germinate and sprout, eventually breaking through the surface to grow into a thriving plant.
Similarly, when we feel stuck and resistant, it’s like being in a state of dormancy. However, this can be the starting point for igniting tapas. Just as the seed undergoes transformation through the nurturing elements of soil, water, and sunlight, our resistance can be the catalyst for change when we allow ourselves to be open to growth and new possibilities.
Although it may seem counterintuitive, one way to cultivate tapas is NOT to push away the resistance and force yourself to do the task. Instead of trying to get rid of the discomfort of the resistance, sit with it.
As you sit with it, assume a posture as you would in meditation. Practice sitting still. And just watch the discomfort. Don’t try to change it. Don’t use other techniques to ease the discomfort. Just be there. Start with a few minutes and build up to 10 minutes. Stay completely still.
Cultivating the Inner Fire Part #2: Stop Trying to Change It
For many of us, especially those new to meditation, the act of sitting in stillness can be quite revealing. At first, the mind may seem serene or perhaps disinterested, but soon enough, it buzzes with objections, fantasies, and a craving for diversion. Similarly, the body may rebel, yearning for motion, adjustments, or stretches – anything to avoid staying put.
However, this internal unrest is like a pot of water on the stove: at first, it sits calmly, but as the heat rises, it starts to bubble and boil. Or imagine a restless child in a quiet classroom, fidgeting and squirming until given a task to focus on.
In the same vein, sitting still generates a kind of friction within, stirring up an inner energy, a resolve within one’s psyche. This newfound determination can then be channeled into action.
So, consider keeping a few options in mind for activities you’ve been eager to try or chores you’ve been postponing. After completing your ten minutes of stillness, you might find yourself energized and ready to tackle that home improvement project or dive into a new hobby.
Cultivating the Inner Fire Part #3: Create Small Habits
Another effective method to cultivate the inner discipline of tapas is to incorporate brief, regular activity into your routine.
Let’s say you aspire to start a daily yoga practice but find it challenging to commit. However, committing to just one minute of practice each morning upon waking might be more feasible.
You could experiment with simple arm movements synchronized with your breath: inhaling as you extend your arms overhead, exhaling as you lower them down, inhaling to expand them outward, and exhaling to embrace yourself in a hug. This can be done while sitting up in bed if preferred.
James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, highlights the potency of small, consistent actions in molding habits and attaining significant results.
When you first set out to engage in a short, daily activity, it aligns perfectly with Clear’s philosophy of habit stacking and starting with manageable tasks. By committing to just one minute of practice each morning, you’re leveraging the principle of “atomic habits” – tiny, incremental changes that compound over time.
When you stack the small activities, you develop discipline and resilience, gradually strengthening your capacity to endure challenges and pursue your goals with determination.
This means that with consistent practice, you foster a sense of inner fire and motivation. Cultivating tapas.
Conclusion
Cultivating tapas has made a big difference for me. It’s helped me build inner strength and stay focused on my goals, even when challenges come my way. By developing this discipline, I’ve become more confident in handling tough tasks and staying on track.
This practice has also helped me connect more deeply with what truly matters to me, leading to a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose. It’s been a great way to strengthen my resolve and enhance my overall well-being.
I encourage you to explore how tapas might fit into your life. It’s a simple yet powerful way to support your personal growth and keep moving forward, no matter where you are in your journey.
QUESTION: How do you think you might use the idea of Tapas to help you stay motivated and reach your goals?
Love this post? Pin it and share it with others – thank you!