Change Your Money Story and Watch Everything Grow!
When I sat down to reflect on my financial decisions, whether it was buying a house, saving for the kids’ university, or simply trying to stick to a budget, I realized something important: my relationship with money wasn’t really about money at all.
It was about the story I was telling myself. The choices I made, both good and bad, all came down to one central question: “Who do I think I am?”
Every financial decision we make is influenced by the money story playing in the background. It’s the narrative we have about ourselves and our abilities.
Some of us grow up believing we’re “bad with money,” while others think we’ll always be financially secure. What’s fascinating is how these beliefs, whether we’re aware of them or not, shape our financial reality.
For me, this realization came after my divorce. I had to take a hard look at how I viewed myself, especially when it came to money. What had always been a shared responsibility with my spouse was now solely mine.
The story I had told myself—“I’m just not a numbers person”—began to feel like a heavy weight. If I kept believing that, how would I ever get back on my feet?
I realized that to move forward, I needed to challenge that narrative. And that’s exactly what I did.
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The Connection Between Self-Identity and Money
So, how does “Who do I think I am?” affect how we handle our money? It comes down to our money story.
Your money story is the mental picture you carry about who you are when it comes to finances, your talents, capabilities, and limitations. Whether you realize it or not, this story is steering the wheel of your financial decisions.
For example, if you’ve always seen yourself as someone who is “not good with money,” you might avoid learning about investing or budgeting. You may even shy away from conversations about finances.
On the other hand, if you believe you are capable of managing your money wisely, you are more likely to take charge, ask questions, and seek out new financial opportunities.
And let’s be honest, money brings up a lot of emotions. Whether it is guilt, shame, fear, or pride, our financial lives are tangled up with feelings. Often, those feelings are rooted in the money story we tell ourselves.
For many of us, those stories started forming early on. Maybe you grew up hearing things like, “We can’t afford that,” or “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” These messages sink in over time and create beliefs about money and, more importantly, about you.
But here is the good news: you can rewrite that story. And you should.
Especially as we get older, it is time to let go of those outdated narratives and create a new story—one that reflects who you are now and who you want to become.
Uncovering Limiting Beliefs
Before we can change our money story, we have to know what we’re working with. What’s the current story you’re telling yourself about money? What limiting beliefs have taken root over the years?
Here are some common ones I’ve come across, especially for women over 50:
- “I’m just not good with money.”
- “It’s too late for me to start saving or investing.”
- “I should prioritize my family’s needs over my own financial security.”
Any of these sound familiar?
They’re sneaky little beliefs, and they tend to hide in the background of our minds. The problem is, these beliefs drive our behavior.
If you believe it’s too late to get your finances in order, you’re not going to take action. If you think you’re not good with money, you won’t even try to improve your situation.
So how do we uncover these limiting beliefs? It starts with reflection. Ask yourself:
- What stories did I hear about money growing up?
- How do I feel when I think about money—anxious, confident, confused?
- What financial choices have I made in the past that I regret, and why?
By answering these questions honestly, you’ll start to see patterns in your thinking. And once you’ve identified those limiting beliefs, you can start the process of changing them.
Redefining Your Money Story
Here’s where things get interesting. Once you uncover those old money stories, you have the power to rewrite them.
The first step in rewriting your money story is to create a new narrative. Who do you want to be when it comes to money? What would it look like if you were financially confident and capable?
I’ll be honest—this process feels a little awkward at first. When I started shifting my own money mindset, I had to actively remind myself that I was capable of handling my finances.
I even started saying affirmations out loud, like, “I’m in control of my money,” and “I deserve financial stability.”
It felt strange at first, but over time, those words started to feel true.
You can do this too. Try writing a new money story for yourself. Here’s how:
- Write down who you want to be financially. Imagine your ideal financial self—someone who saves wisely, invests confidently, and spends thoughtfully. How does this person feel about money? What actions do they take?
- Practice affirmations. It may feel cheesy, but trust me, it works. Say things like, “I am capable of managing my money well,” or “I am worthy of financial success.” These small mindset shifts can make a big difference.
- Surround yourself with positive influences. Read books, listen to podcasts, or follow financial experts who inspire you. You can also join supportive communities (like our Facebook group!) to stay motivated and continue learning.
By redefining your money story, you’re telling your brain that you’re in charge of your financial future. And that shift in thinking can open doors to new opportunities and habits that you may not have considered before.
How Your Money Story Impacts Financial Habits
Here’s the truth: when you shift how you see yourself, your actions will naturally follow. Your money story directly impacts your financial habits.
For instance, let’s say you’ve always seen yourself as someone who’s bad at saving. If you hold on to that belief, you might avoid setting up a savings plan altogether.
But if you change that story—if you start seeing yourself as someone who can save and manage money wisely—your actions will start to align with that new mindset.
After I rewrote my own money story, I became more proactive about financial planning. I started working with a financial advisor, something I had always been too intimidated to do. But once I saw myself as someone who could confidently handle my finances, reaching out for help felt natural.
And the results? Let’s just say I sleep better at night knowing my financial future is on solid ground.
Shifting your money story can lead to tangible changes in how you manage your money. You might start budgeting more effectively, exploring investments, or even setting up a plan for retirement. The key is that these changes come from a place of empowerment, not fear or scarcity.
Real-Life Applications for Women Over 50
So, how do we apply this in real life, especially for women over 50? At this stage in life, you’ve likely gone through major transitions—whether it’s an empty nest, retirement, or even a career change.
This is the perfect time to redefine your money story and step into a more empowered financial role.
Here are a few practical ways to start shifting your money mindset:
- Reinvent Yourself Financially: Maybe you’re returning to work after years of caregiving, or maybe you’re thinking about starting a side business. Whatever your situation, now is the time to embrace the idea that you can be financially independent and secure.
- Embrace a Learning Mindset:It’s never too late to improve your financial literacy. Take a course on personal finance, read up on investing, or start following financial blogs (hey, like this one!). The more you learn, the more empowered you’ll feel. One of my personal favorites is The Budgetnista. Her blog is packed with helpful tips and advice for improving your financial situation.
- Find Financial Role Models: Surround yourself with people who have a healthy relationship with money. Whether it’s a mentor, friend, or even a financial advisor, having someone to look up to can make all the difference.
- Prioritize Your Financial Health: This might mean setting up a retirement plan, paying off debt, or building an emergency fund. Whatever it is, make sure your financial health is just as much of a priority as your physical or emotional well-being.
Changing Your Money Mindset is Changing Your Story
At the end of the day, our money story comes back to the fundamental question: “Who do I think I am?”
If you believe you’re someone who deserves financial security, who is capable of managing money wisely, and who can learn and grow—then that’s exactly what you’ll become.
So take a moment and ask yourself: “Who do I think I am with money?”
Then, start rewriting your story.
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This was such an interesting read. Thank you for sharing. Growing up, my parents always talked about money with us and I feel like really instilled values in me with regard to spending that I didn’t realize helped so much until I got older. It’s a balance, but you are so right regarding that spending habits and how you use (or see) money is a different form of learning about yourself. Really interesting post!
Great advice! I have more money now than my family growing up but I still haven’t felt finally stable because I would shop a lot of it away. I spend money like it made a hole in my pocket! My mindset used to be “I deserve this” but I think I just didn’t see myself as capable of being financially stable. I will be implementing this plan to get my money right.
I agree that affirmations are a powerful way to transform our money story. I have been using this for the past few weeks, and it’s been a game changer
So many of us have limiting beliefs around the topic of money. I’ve personally had to learn that money isn’t necessarily associated with selfishness. It can be a good thing if handled properly. Thank you for sharing this insightful post.
Such a great read. I’m an accountant so I was trained to be good with other people’s money. But I was still terrible with my own. Of course that was down to my limiting beliefs. I only realised this 4 years ago. But by shifting my mindset I’m finally able to save and am on track to retire in 4 years!
Money trauma shame is real; one of the things I heard growing up was, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” But as you wrote, we can reframe the limiting stories, and it’s never too late. Thank you for this helpful, gentle reminder.
Informative post. I agree with your points and have been working on prioritizing my financial health to plan for the future. I wish I started sooner, but it’s never to late to change.